With the uncertainties of a chronic illness, having a routine is an essential element. Symptoms wax and wane from hour to hour; day-to-day making plans, arrival times, and daily structure are vulnerable to spontaneous changes. Delays and cancellations occur, and the only thing reliable is unreliable. Here are the top reasons for the importance of routines for fibromyalgia parents.
Routine vs. Schedule
Notice I said routines are essential with a chronic illness. Not schedules. Let’s clarify the difference between routine and schedule. The difference is why routines, and not schedules, are essential with fibromyalgia. Dictionary.com defines routine as a
"commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity". It defines a schedule as "a series of things to be done or of events to occur at or during a particular time or period; a timetable".
The significant difference between a schedule and a routine is the time factor. A schedule is a set of activities done at a specific time, while a routine is a set of activities done regularly at no particular time. Consider a schedule as a task you do at certain times, such as an appointment.
Think of a routine you habitually do in and out each day, such as going to bed. A routine is accessible from the confines of time constraints. It allows your family to flow from one activity or task to another. This makes room for transitioning or any unplanned events without causing more stress to you or other family members.
Why Routines Are Important
Schedules, I know, are ideal for kids. The benefits of a schedule for kids are:
more restful sleeping
more attentive to other family members
less whining
more laughing
less stress on the entire family
more interactive with the family
better listening
That’s a lot of benefits! But do adults get the same benefits from a schedule? Yes, they do! But do adults living with chronic illnesses get the same benefits? Not in my opinion.
Having a chronic illness means expecting the unexpected. Changes in plans will occur. Days will not go as planned. Events, no matter the preparation, will get delayed or canceled altogether. Anxiety or depression hits. A flare-up of symptoms happens without warning. That is where having a schedule becomes difficult.
How to Create a Routine
An excellent way to start creating a routine is to think about habits you and your family have at certain times of the day. These daily habits work together to make your family routine. Some considerations of what to include:
Morning habits include waking (allowing time for difficulty waking you or your kids), hygiene, eating breakfast, getting out the door for school, etc.
Chores are completed throughout the day. Which time of day is best for your body without overexerting yourself? Which days of the week do you do chores?
Afternoon habits include coming home from school, snack time, and homework assignments.
Evening habits include eating dinner, watching TV or other entertainment, preparing for the next school day, getting ready for bed, etc.
Our Routines Have Benefits
Routines are more beneficial when living with a chronic illness. They’re like having a schedule but without time constraints. Routines have the same benefits but with the added freedom of when you do those tasks. A routine will also help you get more quality sleep, essential in living with a chronic illness. It will also help you remember to take supplements or medication, stretch, or do a similar beneficial exercise.
For example, I wake up between seven and eight each morning for my summer routine. I eat breakfast, drink coffee, and read in a quiet house when everyone is still sleeping. This is how I prepare for the day – slowly and quietly. During this time, I’ll feed the kids breakfast as they wake up individually and get any activities they want. I may work on my blog or do some social networking. Nothing is set in stone.
Around noon, it’s lunchtime, followed by resting time. The younger ones nap while the older kids choose quiet activities (electronics, reading). I either relax, read, do housework, prepare dinner, or write for the day. This entirely depends on my mood and how the kids and I feel. If no one feels up to it, we stay home or swim.
Conclusion
Having a routine does not mean the kids do not get the benefits of a schedule. In a way, they have the security of knowing when and how their days will happen. They reap the benefits of a schedule, while I reap the benefits of a routine. It’s a win-win situation.
Once school starts, not a whole lot will change. I will have a specific time for waking up to get the kids to school and pick them up. That will most likely be the only change. A routine keeps my stress levels and anxiety to a more manageable tolerance. If a flare-up occurs, there’s no schedule to worry about. Read more about how to manage flare-ups of symptoms.
When my husband gets home, it’s dinner time in the evening. Then we spend time with the kids. We talk about our days or play a board game until their bedtime between seven and eight. Then, my husband and I have time together until bedtime between ten and eleven. The weekends are more open to doing whatever. We have a routine of waking up, eating meals, and going to bed around the same time. What we do and the times we do them are more lenient on Saturdays and Sundays.
As you can see, nothing in my day is concrete or marked by a definite time slot. I have the leisure of going with the flow of symptoms and aiding them if needed. It’s much less demanding and stressful for me and the entire family.
Comments